Queer Identities

Feels like I keep on coming back to this, doesn’t it? Well, it’s been on my mind lately.

In my last post (the Take Back the Night one was Jessie B, and it was great, but I wasn’t there for that so I’m gonna focus on me.) I talked about what the different letters in LGBTQIA+ meant. And in my post before that I talked about how cool it was that a high school kid jumped to pansexual. So I guess in this one we’re gonna get to the root of the problem.

Remember that time I got a girl’s number? I made a tumblr post about it. That tumblr post has somehow gotten outrageously popular (111k notes at the time of this posting) and people have been commenting things. Mostly nice things. College Humor called me a liar. But some things have been… not intentionally hurtful. But, well.

I am not a lesbian.

It’s been really bothering me, seeing some of the tags on this post. Most of them are great and hilarious and amazing, but a lot of them just say ‘lesbian’ or ‘lesbian power’ and I know people are just tagging and trying to be empowering and that’s great!

But I’m not a lesbian.

I’m not offended to be called a lesbian, but calling me that erases a lot of who I am, and that’s someone who loves Darren Criss and Nick Jonas, someone who has embarrassed herself flirting with male customers at her job, and someone who literally cried when it was her boy crush’s last day at work (I still miss you Sean).

It also erases the part of me that’s really uncomfortable imagining myself as someone who has sex. Sex in the abstract doesn’t bother me but myself actually doing it freaks me the freak out so I’m more ace than anything really.*

So I’m a person who feels mushy romantic feelings over boys and girls and who doesn’t really feel like she wants to have sex with either of them. A person could still identify as a lesbian and feel these things but I don’t. Identify as a lesbian I mean.

So yeah, please stop erasing other queer identities like mine. If you call me anything, call me queer. I’ve got that on a t-shirt.

-JM

*I said I was demisexual/panromantic in this post and demisexuality is a facet of asexuality which you can google on your own. Kay, cool.

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